Tonight is Passover, and tonight we will remember - I was a slave in Egypt, and my Savior led me out. I am now saved (even though I do not always think like a free person). In His Mercy, He continues to renew me and my mind daily, glory to glory. We remind our children that they too were slaves, lest they forget and run back to the world. When we chose to live under the BLOOD of JESUS, The LORD Passed-over us and we are no longer subject to Pharaoh or the Destroyer...
Walking through this desert recently, I have been faced with some emotions - do I choose terror, or do I choose to live in Faith and trust that He is still leading me. JESUS has not lost hold of me, no matter what the enemy whispers to me.... I am not alone, my Savior has written the story of my Life, for His Glory. I re-release my life back to Him; I cannot re-write it. Who am I to edit the LORD, to even have an opinion about how the story should go? I do not get to choose how my life will proceed, I chose JESUS, and this choice means from there on out, I am led by the Spirit, whether He takes me to the desert, or the Promised Land. We do not know where we are going, we are following The Leader and His cloud and pillar of smoke....
I reach down past my emotions, that sometimes mask truth, and I find something to be grateful in this moment, in the moment where I feel empty and lost. I look to no man, no man can save me... I need JESUS and the prayers of my sisters.... I need Truth, and I need to know that Goodness and Mercy still exist. When the worst thing happens, we have to choose, do we eat of ungratefulness, or do we choose to believe that "all things work for the good"...
We have been led recently to keep a journal of HIS blessings, a gratitude journal because sometimes we forget all the "LITTLE" things HE does for us (though truly they are never little)... How many times He reaches down from Heaven, and pauses to show us His all-consuming LOVE... I hate that we forget, but it is the sin-nature that was handed down from Eve... and the voice of the enemy that lies and says that what GOD has given is not enough. We remind ourselves daily to practice gratitude and to learn to live in AMAZEMENT of Who HE is and HOW He LOVES us... If we will just pause to reflect, we will learn to see Him in EVERY situation even (or most especially) the terrible ones....
Ingratitude
Ungratefulness.
It is how we see the world,
through cataract-hardened eyes.
It allows me to be disappointed in
GOD Himself, Creator of the Universe.
Through the fog of deception,
I allow myself to be disgusted
by the world, but mostly
by my precious husband and my children.
I forget how much they mean to me,
I forget they are blessings.
In my amnesia, I curse and complain -
I see only faults and failures,
letdowns and losses -
LORD, forgive me for eating of the
wicked apple
that tells me what You have given
is never enough.
Forgive me for receiving even a morsel
of "GOD is not enough" -
Blasphemy courses through my veins -
Stop. Still. Ponder. Repent!!
LORD, forgive me my thoughts
and attitudes.
Fill me with Your Communion Blood,
a Holy Transfusion -
until everything evil and
selfish and self-serving
flows out of me -
Shine Your Light on the darkness still hiding
in my prideful heart,
until Light is all I see -
I do not wrestle with darkness -
I want it to go, Leave.
I wrestle with LIGHT and GOOD...
I hold on until
I find the LIGHT and GOOD
You are
inside of me ----
Humble and broken is where
I need to be ---
LORD, fill me with Wonder.
Replace this shame
with Who You are again.
Yay GOD!! Thank You for Your victory - Thank You for using us as Your testimony - Your Story - I Bless the way You write it - it is eternal - We are eternal - I am eternal... This moment will pass, but Your Truth remains - You remain - when everything else is shaken, You are there - and that is enough---------- AMEN and AMEN :)
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