Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Posted by ShemaSchool on 2:09 PM No comments

6 Years ago, we started homeschooling our children. I happened to read an awesome intro to homeschooling book by Lisa Whelchel (So You're Thinking About Homeschooling). Funny, the part that stayed with me most had seemingly nothing to do with homeschooling or the children. She was describing what a typical morning at her house would look like; she would get up before her children and read the Bible and spend time with the Lord. It sounded so sweet and Peaceful. They would each wake up and come downstairs and I think they would have quiet time together...

My one thought at the time was pretty brutal. I knew with all certainty that my children would NEVER find me reading the Bible. I loved the Lord, we went to church and I even heard from (and obeyed) the Holy Spirit, but it had never occurred to me to spend time with the Lord and to read the Word daily. Right then, I decided that I wanted to become the kind of woman who would read her Bible in the morning.

Shortly after this, I saw a plaque in a store that read

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:27-28

When I read the plaque, I knew I was not this woman, but I wanted to be this woman. I bought it for accountability, for a daily reminder of what The Lord wanted me to be. I wanted to be the woman that someday would receive praise, not only from her children, but from her husband also.

It has cost me a lot to become someone else. I still fail miserably. I have learned to set aside “me time”. So many times, I am so tired and I want to go to sleep early, but someone in my family needs me. I have literally had temper tantrums inside myself about this, but The Lord is growing me to not be selfish and to serve His Purpose. I minister to my family: my children and my husband. I minister to their physical needs and to their spirits. I do not get to choose when, and usually it is late at night when these emergencies come. I cry out to The Lord in emptiness and exhaustion and HE fills me. HE fills my spirit and HE fills my physical being with Strength that only HE can give.

HE is ever-Present and Available. HE wants us to call on Him, HE does not want us to try to do this in our own power. My power cannot sustain me and it bears no fruit. My fruit was self-serving and isolating; GOD's fruit builds relationships and it creates BEAUTY and GRACE. It is not haughty or proud. I have not arrived. I am so far from where I need to be, but I am NOT the woman that I was. I set my heart to want what The Lord wanted for me, and HE has changed me, glory to glory... 

Today, ask HIM who HE wants you to be, and then obey... How has The Lord changed you? What will you do to change more?

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