6
Years ago, we started homeschooling our children. I happened to read
an awesome intro to homeschooling book by Lisa Whelchel (So You're
Thinking About Homeschooling). Funny, the part that stayed with
me most had seemingly nothing to do with homeschooling or the
children. She was describing what a typical morning at her house
would look like; she would get up before her children and read the
Bible and spend time with the Lord. It sounded so sweet and
Peaceful. They would each wake up and come downstairs and I think
they would have quiet time together...
My
one thought at the time was pretty brutal. I knew with all certainty
that my children would NEVER find me reading the Bible. I loved the
Lord, we went to church and I even heard from (and obeyed) the Holy
Spirit, but it had never occurred to me to spend time with the Lord
and to read the Word daily. Right then, I decided that I wanted to
become the kind of woman who would read her Bible in the morning.
Shortly
after this, I saw a plaque in a store that read
She watches over the
ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her
children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he
praises her. Proverbs 31:27-28
When
I read the plaque, I knew I was not this woman, but I wanted to be
this woman. I bought it for accountability, for a daily reminder of
what The Lord wanted me to be. I wanted to be the woman that someday
would receive praise, not only from her children, but from her
husband also.
It
has cost me a lot to become someone else. I still fail miserably. I
have learned to set aside “me time”. So many times, I am so
tired and I want to go to sleep early, but someone in my family needs
me. I have literally had temper tantrums inside myself about this,
but The Lord is growing me to not be selfish and to serve His
Purpose. I minister to my family: my children and my husband. I
minister to their physical needs and to their spirits. I do not get
to choose when, and usually it is late at night when these
emergencies come. I cry out to The Lord in emptiness and exhaustion
and HE fills me. HE fills my spirit and HE fills my physical being
with Strength that only HE can give.
HE
is ever-Present and Available. HE wants us to call on Him, HE does
not want us to try to do this in our own power. My power cannot
sustain me and it bears no fruit. My fruit was self-serving and
isolating; GOD's fruit builds relationships and it creates BEAUTY and
GRACE. It is not haughty or proud. I have not arrived. I am so far
from where I need to be, but I am NOT the woman that I was. I set my
heart to want what The Lord wanted for me, and HE has changed me,
glory to glory...
Today, ask HIM who HE wants you to be, and then
obey... How has The Lord changed you? What will you do to change
more?
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