LORD of All

For a long time, every time I would go to sleep or wake up, I would have the physical sensation that I was hugging something HUGE and HARD , like a water tower: lil ol' me with my arms spread out and my cheek pressed against something cold and white.

I knew this was a choice. What extravagance! The Creator of the Universe was allowing me to choose: did I want His perfect Will for my life, or would I choose something easier? Time and again, every time, I would say “Yes, I wanted all HE had to offer”.

This came right after a period of time when I had come to Peace with my very painful past. I could finally look at pain upon pain that HE had allowed and say to Him “it is well with my soul”. I asked Him to be Lord of not just my Present and my Future, but Lord of my Past. I could finally believe that HE could turn MY ashes into beauty and I gave Him permission to use those experiences for me to minister to other women.

Then I had to choose, would I embrace more pain or the easier road? More anointing? More of His Presence?

As I write this, HE is showing me the words, HUGE and HARD. This is that. What my family has been walking through is THAT. I know this is a promotion, I have known it is a promotion, but I have almost fallen away a few many times.

I am weak and broken. I am a woman who is small in Strength. I have endured more than I imagined I could have. There are many times I thought I could not go on, but HE has sustained me. Not in a pretty, Spiritual way. HE has brought me through in a raw snot-filled, gasping for air, kind of way. But HE has brought me through. HE has sustained my mind through things I did not think I could bear. I know I would be in a padded room without Him.

I know I do not deserve His Grace and Mercy. I know His tenderness is extravagant. I know the pain I have endured is nothing compared to His. Yet HE loves me. HE soothes me. HE is gentle with me. When the whole world walks away, HE is there. HE is HERE. Right HERE, wherever you are, HE has gone ahead and made a way.

Don't YOU know what the LORD has brought you through? (How can we ever know, this side of Heaven?) Selah – pause and reflect. You are here, HE has a purpose for you. What do you need to give to Him? Anything you are holding back?

Yay for a GOD who is LORD of ALL...

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Thankful for Faith

I am not sure what the spiritual seasons are... I know I am in a hard one. For a year, we were unable to go to church. Not experiencing corporate worship for a year was terrible. I did not feel the Presence of The Lord in/on my body for a whole year during the 1st part of these 2 years, and THAT was terrible. I would minister and people would be blessed, but I physically felt nothing.

The Lord has taught me to be Thankful for ALL things. I know HE has used this time and this season to GROW me, and for that I am thankful. I am not as easily moved as I was.

I miss the simplicity of when I first fell in love with JESUS. Everything was so new and hopeful. It is still Hopeful, but in a "we will still be okay somehow" kind of way. It is a Faith that is deeper and richer and truer.

FAITH, n. to persuade, to draw towards any thing, to conciliate; to

believe, to obey. (from Webster's 1828)

I am learning so much about Faith. When we first fall in love with Jesus, our Faith is like a new marriage in the natural. They are both all bright and shiny, albeit a little untested.

Then circumstances and life happens, and our Faith gets run over by a bus (sometimes a whole fleet of buses). We have to scrape it off the pavement and shake it off before we pick it up again and embrace it. And then we look at this deeper faith and we realize it is more beautiful than the shiny 1st faith we had before. Unfortunately some people walk away and leave their Faith flat in the middle of the road, when the greatest Blessings come from embracing a deeper, truer Faith. (This is perdition, or falling away: not continuing to follow JESUS.)

JESUS is so much more than we can Ask or Imagine. To walk in the fullness of what HE has for us, we have to be willing to Receive ALL that HE has for us: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

We receive all, we Thank Him for ALL, and then we release ALL back to Him.
This allows His anointing to be unhindered in us. I heard a sermon one time that "the worst thing for the Holy Spirit is for Him to be trapped in an unbelieving believer". Don't we need to believe that ALL things work for Good"? That includes this sickness, that divorce, this pain, that loss...

I receive, I bless, I thank and I release. Again and Again. All day long. All year long. A whole lifetime long. Still, when I am old and shriveled, I release. I exhale.

I bless and let go.
I give and I get.
I love and I set free all those around me.
May The Lord Bless you and yours, today and always,
Sara

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HOPE in the Hurt

photo from http://office.microsoft.com

My Mama Heart Hurts.

Sadness threatens to engulf me as I am overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We have taken my oldest son to the ER 3 times in the last 2 weeks. And we also found out he has to have surgery for something unrelated to these 3 things, and unrelated to Type 1 diabetes. The same diabetes that ravages his body daily and knocks him down. The same diabetes that tries to steal my sleep and my peace and my joy. The sickness that does not belong here.

We have had no income for a year and a half.

We got an insurance settlement that was spent and then some before we received it.  

Both of our cars only work half the time.

My husband has been physically unable to work for a year and a half.  

The LORD has told me not to say any day is a bad day. And yet, at the end of some days, I wonder was this the worst day of my life?

Yet at the end of the day, week, month, year and a half, we still have each other.

We still have HOPE. We still have JESUS.

We still have a reason to continue on. We are still called to encourage each other as long as it is called Today. (Hebrews 3:13)

Today.

His Mercies are new each day. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

HE gives me Strength for Today.

Darkness comes, and then the new day brings joy. (Psalm 30:5)

HE promises me Refreshment, when I refresh others. (Proverbs 11:25)

Even here.

Even in Broken-ness.

Even in the Broken place.

Especially in this Broken place.

So many days, I have thought I had no more to give.

I have thought that I could not go on without sleep another night. I have thought that we could not pay the bills.

It is not pretty, but we are still here.

We are stronger.

Now it takes a lot more to move us, and even then we can come back to His Heart. Slowly, HE is showing us to let it all go.

Beyond the broken, we find the Secret Place (Psalm 91:1). The Place where the Lord waits to show us how HE can sustain us, no matter the circumstance.

Sometimes I think this is the end, but Life goes on, and tomorrow is a new day.

I am not sure how The Lord will work these circumstances out, but His Word says HE has a good plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11).  My mother-in-law says it is like when there is an emergency and everyone is panicking so, they cannot see the EXIT signs right there. GOD has already made a way, but we cannot see it YET. We have to stop panicking, start trusting Him, and wait for Him to bring forth His Will for our lives. 

HE says HE will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)

HE has not left you.

HE will not leave you.

HE loves you, regardless of how painful it is where you are.

You are not without HOPE.

Our country is not without HOPE.

This place, this whole life is temporary.

The Secret Place lasts forever.

The Ancient of Days is waiting for us to come to Him, and sit at His feet.

Ask Him for living water, HE offers us drink when we are weary.

Be relentless, search out HOPE in your circumstance, even if it is only a cloud the size of a man's hand!

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning—Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord;For with the Lord there is mercy, And with Him is abundant redemption."  -Psalm 130:5-7 (NKJV)

LORD, fill us with Your Glory, fill us with your Strength to face whatever circumstances You have chosen to give us. Give us Grace to Hold on to You alone and to release everything to You: the good, the bad and the ugly.  Bind our hearts and our hurts. In JESUS' Name, AMEN. 

In His Mighty Sustaining Power I remain,

Sara

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind, is anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27)
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I flow in the gift of HUGS.

I flow in the gift of HUGS.

I did not even know this was a gift. I was at a Woman of Faith Conference with my YahYahs (10 friends)... It was the first time I ever tangibly felt the Holy Spirit. HE felt like a mist, and the whole place was filled with His Peace. I also think it is when I got saved. Mind you, I went to church my whole life, and had been going to Bible study, but it is the first time I really felt like I laid it all down at His feet and surrendered my life to Him...

There was this incredible woman ministering there named Thelma Wells. She reminded me of the nanny that raised me. I knew during the break that I was supposed to get her to hug me. I went and stood in line behind everyone who wanted her autograph and pictures with her, and I humbly asked her if she would hug me. She held me for a long time. I did not feel anything particularly, but shortly after that is when GOD started telling me to hug people.

At first it was VERY uncomfortable to me to offer to give someone a hug. I was rejected more often than not. For a while I mostly hugged people in church, not so much in the marketplace. For a while, GOD would tell me hug to people who I did not like, did not want to talk to, much less hug. HE was teaching me that my opinions about others did not matter. HE loves us all, and HE was setting me free from my prideful opinions and selfish emotions. Regardless of how I felt, HE wanted to hug these people; I was to be His hands and arms.

If the person is open to receiving, then The Anointing shows up and usually what I release is multiplied and we are both blessed and filled with His PEACE. Sometimes the person cries, sometimes they laugh, sometimes they are comforted, sometimes we get stuck together for the rest of the service... One time this Asian woman and I hugged and my heart started to break, it hurt so terribly... Sometimes I feel like we are being swooshed up and away to Heaven... In contrast, when the other person does not receive, nothing happens, it is just an ordinary hug.

Along with this hug anointing, I have a MAMA Anointing. GOD will fill me with a mother's love for someone even almost my age (a couple times the person has been older than me)... I will be so moved with compassion for the person that is before me, it is as if they are my own child and I have known them their whole life.

When I flow in these gifts, I do not receive prophetic words per se. I know the Father's love for them, but generally I do not hear or see anything specific for them. This used to bother me because those around me hear and see so much and I felt like my gift was small in comparison. GOD has brought me to a place of more maturity to accept and appreciate what HE has given me, and to NOT compare my gifts to others' gifts. Each expression should be different as each of us is a different facet of His Creative masterpiece.

I am not sure if everyone can give hugs, maybe they can? About 2 years after GOD started having me hug people, I found out about Shampa Rice, “a little lady from the kitchen” who also gives hugs. Her expression of Hugs is different from mine, as well it should be. One time she was introduced, saying, “Do not ask her to pray for you, her Hug is her prayer”. We do not always need to try to fill the space with words, sometimes I have no words to release, only a hug...

I am still blessed by this daily as I go about the dailiness of my life. How GOD uses my gift for The Body and for those who do not yet know Him. When they feel PEACE, they ask “What is that?” and I answer “that is JESUS, HE loves you. HE has never left you nor forsaken you. HE is waiting for you and HE wants to Bless you”...

This gift HE has given me is so subtle and hidden. It is so easily overlooked or pushed aside. Like so many precious things with JESUS, we have to be open and willing to seek His Treasure.

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.

1 Corinthians 1:27-29

What wonderful or even amazingly simple gifts do you flow in?  If you do not know for sure, ask The LORD to reveal them to you...  I Know you have Treasure hidden inside!!

{{{HUGS}}}

Sara

Photo credit 

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg180/rhondarenfro/JesusHug2.jpg

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What have I done to bring about the greatest change in me?

6 Years ago, we started homeschooling our children. I happened to read an awesome intro to homeschooling book by Lisa Whelchel (So You're Thinking About Homeschooling). Funny, the part that stayed with me most had seemingly nothing to do with homeschooling or the children. She was describing what a typical morning at her house would look like; she would get up before her children and read the Bible and spend time with the Lord. It sounded so sweet and Peaceful. They would each wake up and come downstairs and I think they would have quiet time together...

My one thought at the time was pretty brutal. I knew with all certainty that my children would NEVER find me reading the Bible. I loved the Lord, we went to church and I even heard from (and obeyed) the Holy Spirit, but it had never occurred to me to spend time with the Lord and to read the Word daily. Right then, I decided that I wanted to become the kind of woman who would read her Bible in the morning.

Shortly after this, I saw a plaque in a store that read

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:27-28

When I read the plaque, I knew I was not this woman, but I wanted to be this woman. I bought it for accountability, for a daily reminder of what The Lord wanted me to be. I wanted to be the woman that someday would receive praise, not only from her children, but from her husband also.

It has cost me a lot to become someone else. I still fail miserably. I have learned to set aside “me time”. So many times, I am so tired and I want to go to sleep early, but someone in my family needs me. I have literally had temper tantrums inside myself about this, but The Lord is growing me to not be selfish and to serve His Purpose. I minister to my family: my children and my husband. I minister to their physical needs and to their spirits. I do not get to choose when, and usually it is late at night when these emergencies come. I cry out to The Lord in emptiness and exhaustion and HE fills me. HE fills my spirit and HE fills my physical being with Strength that only HE can give.

HE is ever-Present and Available. HE wants us to call on Him, HE does not want us to try to do this in our own power. My power cannot sustain me and it bears no fruit. My fruit was self-serving and isolating; GOD's fruit builds relationships and it creates BEAUTY and GRACE. It is not haughty or proud. I have not arrived. I am so far from where I need to be, but I am NOT the woman that I was. I set my heart to want what The Lord wanted for me, and HE has changed me, glory to glory... 

Today, ask HIM who HE wants you to be, and then obey... How has The Lord changed you? What will you do to change more?

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How my marriage has challenged my FAITH‏

What has challenged me the most in my Christian faith, is my marriage. How to keep my mouth shut. How to honor my husband when he does not act honorably. How to take his lead when I know he is wrong, but he will not listen. How to not point it out later when he realizes. How to not talk to him with condemnation when he makes the same mistake, repeatedly. How LOVE covers all faults, forgives ALL, forgets, and does not keep account. How to disengage when women around me are complaining about their husbands, and I could jump in, but I don't/won't anymore. How to respect him when he is not acting respectfully. How to hold my tongue in front of the children. How to not allow our children to speak of him dishonorably. How to forgive him when he hurts their tender hearts. How to put my full attention on him when I have a million things to do. How to speak gently and lovingly instead of snarling. How to let him decide where we should go when I want to go somewhere else. How to release my husband to The Lord. How to not try to fix everything he does/says wrong.

How to speak LIFE and not death, to bless and not curse... To do him GOOD all the days of his life. To remember we are one team, not enemies. To not resent his masculinity, but to nurture and hold up and protect that manliness. To raise his sons to be proud of their man-ness in a culture that bashes men.

I fail so miserably. Daily. Repeatedly.

I cry out to The Lord and hold my tongue forcibly. Other times, I spew forth terrible, hurtful words. I rush to apologize, like David rushed toward his Giant.

I fail and I cry and I ask forgiveness from him and My Creator. And I fail some more.

Then there are strong, Peaceful, Beautiful days where I think we have arrived. We have a great marriage. The Lord is our Center. There is nothing we can not do.

I learn to SUBMIT to an Awesome GOD by submitting to a broken man. I set myself to yield my will to The Holy Spirit's Will as HE leads me to serve my husband.

Oh Lord, please break my heart to this. Change me. Help me to resist the enemy, and not my husband! As wives, help us to encourage each other to yield to our husbands (and to You!) without murmuring or complaining. AMEN and AMEN.

What has challenged your faith?

Sara

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YOM KIPPUR & See You At The Pole 2012

I got this story from the See You At The Pole website:

At an elementary school near Boston, a little girl was at her school's flagpole all by herself. After some time, her principal went out to where she was and asked her, "What are you doing?"
The girl replied, "I'm here for meet me at the pole."

"But there's no one else here, " the principal pointed out.
"Oh, no," the girl protested, "I'm here to meet God."

 

This exemplifies what all the JEWISH Holidays (including Sabbath) are about also.  They are called "Moedim", or "appointed times".  Tomorrow, See You at the Pole happens to fall on Yom Kippur.  Yom Kippur is a solemn day of fasting, corporate prayer and repentance.  It is a day to deny ourselves, setting aside pleasure and entertainment.  For Christians, it is also a joyous day because we know that JESUS died for our sins...  It is like a date with GOD, HE is waiting for us...  Will you come?

Whether you come with us to the Pole or not, come to The Cross, repent for your sins (both known and unknown), and repent for your country.  Pray for the elections, pray for the PEACE of Israel and pray for our children that GOD will Strengthen them now for what they will have to walk through.  Pray that, even tomorrow, the JEWs will see and receive JESUS as their Yom Kippur atonement...

GOD has promised to be there, will you?

Sara

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