Tuesday, November 12, 2013


My Son's Diagnosis Story

November 14th is World Diabetes Day.

This is not an article I want to write, but I truly believe it could save a child's life. I never read any article like this before my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Maybe things would have been different if I had known all of the symptoms. Maybe my son would not have been more dead than alive when I finally took him to the Emergency Room. Maybe I would have taken him to the ER first instead of going to the pediatrician and then waiting overnight for test results. Maybe I would have asked more questions.

I do not know how I am the mama that is Blessed. My son lived to tell the story. There are many children who do not make it. They are sent home, even from the ER without their Blood Glucose being tested. A simple, readily available test could save these children's lives.

I was so traumatized by the whole thing, especially the fact that I did not insist upon medical care sooner. In my defense, my husband had just become disabled 2 weeks before, and our 15 year old dog had gotten really sick at the same time and had to be put to sleep after suffering a lot. I knew something was wrong with my 13 year old son, but it did not register completely because there was so much going on at the time.

This is the 1st thing you need to remember about Type 1 Diabetes: It can be brought on by stress, or grief, so it happens right in the midst of lots of other things that vie for our attention.

My son had lost weight. He had just had a growth spurt, so I thought it was that, but he kept losing weight. His elbows started look really large because his arms were so thin.

We thought he had a stomach virus that would come and go. He would throw up for a day or so, and then feel better, but then it would come back.

He was going to the bathroom, but he was drinking a lot of water and it was summertime... He sleeps on the other side of the house, so I was unaware of how much he was going to the bathroom at night. That is the thing, you think an older child would be able to tell you everything that is wrong. The sustained high blood sugar was affecting his mental clarity, so he did not communicate the other pieces of the puzzle that would have been a red flag. He also did not tell me that he had vision changes.

My son had terrible acid reflux. This was the diabetic ketoacidosis, and it is deadly if left untreated. It took the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit 24 hours before they would even tell me if he was going to live. By time he got to the ER, he was grey and panting (this is Kussmal breathing). It is the final stages of ketoacidosis before coma. I thank JESUS that he spared my son.

 I have dealt with grief, anger – at myself and those around me - Something was wrong with my baby, and I let the doctors send me home!!!!

Please insist upon a blood glucose test if your child has any of these symptoms!

The Type 1 Diabetes symptoms once again are: 

Extreme thirst 
Frequent urination 
Sudden vision changes 
 Sugar in urine 
Fruity, sweet, or wine-like odor on breath 
Increased appetite 
Sudden weight loss 
Drowsiness, lethargy 
Heavy, labored breathing 
Stupor, unconsciousness 
Sudden bed wetting 

The list above is from http://blackdogsrule.com/warning-signs-of-type-1-diabetes/

JDRF also has a printable PDF with lots more information at
 http://cdn.jdrf.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/WarningSigns.pdf

It is my prayer that you never need this information. Please share this information with other mamas around you. Share it – It can truly be the difference between life and death! If you are a Type 1 Diabetes Mama, I bless you. I cry over your stories as I know you cry over mine. I am amazed by the Strength of your child, as I know that you are amazed by mine. I pray that Diabetes will not hinder you or your child. I pray that our children will walk in the fullness of their destinies, and that the LORD would send His angels to protect them, day and night.

For more information: One of my favorite BLOGs to read about diabetes is http://blackdogsrule.com/ 
He might cuss a little every now and then, but please do not let that stop you from reading. He is all heart, with a passion for his family, and a passion to educate the Diabetic and nonDiabetic communities, and to teach us about Diabetes Alert Dogs. He makes me cry about once a week...

Type 1 Diabetes does not run in our family. It is not caused by being overweight, or by what my son ate.

Graphic came from
http://despitediabetes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/535586_615881175094144_527652975_n-300x276.jpg

Disclaimer:
I am not a medical professional. I am the mama of an amazing young man who has Type 1 Diabetes. The above is to inform you and to share our experience with you. It is not to be misconstrued as medical advice. May The LORD Bless you and keep you and your.

LOVE,
Sara <3

 
2:00 PM ShemaSchool

My Son's Diagnosis Story

November 14th is World Diabetes Day.

This is not an article I want to write, but I truly believe it could save a child's life. I never read any article like this before my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Maybe things would have been different if I had known all of the symptoms. Maybe my son would not have been more dead than alive when I finally took him to the Emergency Room. Maybe I would have taken him to the ER first instead of going to the pediatrician and then waiting overnight for test results. Maybe I would have asked more questions.

I do not know how I am the mama that is Blessed. My son lived to tell the story. There are many children who do not make it. They are sent home, even from the ER without their Blood Glucose being tested. A simple, readily available test could save these children's lives.

I was so traumatized by the whole thing, especially the fact that I did not insist upon medical care sooner. In my defense, my husband had just become disabled 2 weeks before, and our 15 year old dog had gotten really sick at the same time and had to be put to sleep after suffering a lot. I knew something was wrong with my 13 year old son, but it did not register completely because there was so much going on at the time.

This is the 1st thing you need to remember about Type 1 Diabetes: It can be brought on by stress, or grief, so it happens right in the midst of lots of other things that vie for our attention.

My son had lost weight. He had just had a growth spurt, so I thought it was that, but he kept losing weight. His elbows started look really large because his arms were so thin.

We thought he had a stomach virus that would come and go. He would throw up for a day or so, and then feel better, but then it would come back.

He was going to the bathroom, but he was drinking a lot of water and it was summertime... He sleeps on the other side of the house, so I was unaware of how much he was going to the bathroom at night. That is the thing, you think an older child would be able to tell you everything that is wrong. The sustained high blood sugar was affecting his mental clarity, so he did not communicate the other pieces of the puzzle that would have been a red flag. He also did not tell me that he had vision changes.

My son had terrible acid reflux. This was the diabetic ketoacidosis, and it is deadly if left untreated. It took the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit 24 hours before they would even tell me if he was going to live. By time he got to the ER, he was grey and panting (this is Kussmal breathing). It is the final stages of ketoacidosis before coma. I thank JESUS that he spared my son.

 I have dealt with grief, anger – at myself and those around me - Something was wrong with my baby, and I let the doctors send me home!!!!

Please insist upon a blood glucose test if your child has any of these symptoms!

The Type 1 Diabetes symptoms once again are: 

Extreme thirst 
Frequent urination 
Sudden vision changes 
 Sugar in urine 
Fruity, sweet, or wine-like odor on breath 
Increased appetite 
Sudden weight loss 
Drowsiness, lethargy 
Heavy, labored breathing 
Stupor, unconsciousness 
Sudden bed wetting 

The list above is from http://blackdogsrule.com/warning-signs-of-type-1-diabetes/

JDRF also has a printable PDF with lots more information at
 http://cdn.jdrf.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/WarningSigns.pdf

It is my prayer that you never need this information. Please share this information with other mamas around you. Share it – It can truly be the difference between life and death! If you are a Type 1 Diabetes Mama, I bless you. I cry over your stories as I know you cry over mine. I am amazed by the Strength of your child, as I know that you are amazed by mine. I pray that Diabetes will not hinder you or your child. I pray that our children will walk in the fullness of their destinies, and that the LORD would send His angels to protect them, day and night.

For more information: One of my favorite BLOGs to read about diabetes is http://blackdogsrule.com/ 
He might cuss a little every now and then, but please do not let that stop you from reading. He is all heart, with a passion for his family, and a passion to educate the Diabetic and nonDiabetic communities, and to teach us about Diabetes Alert Dogs. He makes me cry about once a week...

Type 1 Diabetes does not run in our family. It is not caused by being overweight, or by what my son ate.

Graphic came from
http://despitediabetes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/535586_615881175094144_527652975_n-300x276.jpg

Disclaimer:
I am not a medical professional. I am the mama of an amazing young man who has Type 1 Diabetes. The above is to inform you and to share our experience with you. It is not to be misconstrued as medical advice. May The LORD Bless you and keep you and your.

LOVE,
Sara <3

 

Tuesday, November 5, 2013


You, Mama, were made for MORE than this. (No, this is not an advertisement to send you back to the work force, or to that remote island you have been dreaming of.)

Mama, I know you, I have been in the trenches with you. I have heard your groans; I have shared your fears and your complaints. I know the enemy tells you that you cannot do this. This mama thing. I know the enemy wants you to think that the mama thing is too big, too hard, too overwhelming for you... that you are unworthy of carrying this banner day after long day.

Fact is, you were called to MORE than this.

Your life can be such that everyone around you says “who does she think she is?” Not you, but HIM in you. The Power that raised JESUS from the dead lives within you. The Power that raised JESUS from the dead. From the dead. The Encourager. The Holy Spirit. Inside you.

The last 2 and a half years, I have been in a battle that is so fierce I am not always sure I will make it to the end of the day.

Those closest to me have asked me if I doubt GOD. Thankfully, I do not doubt GOD throughout this, (I do not boast in this; I believe HE has supernaturally boosted my faith)... The LORD has dealt with me day after day because I have been doubting myself and my ability to minister to my family. I have literally laid on the floor telling him that I cannot handle this, yet HE says I can. Not me, but HIM through me.

I was writing in my journal the other day, and pondering the Scripture

Ephesians 3:20-21(NIV)

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.


GOD IS more than we can “ask or imagine”. I totally receive that. That is beautiful and pure and true. Then HE spoke to my heart and HE told me that what HE has for me is more than I can “ask or imagine”. HE wants to do through me more than I can “ask or imagine”.

See, all I can imagine is barely being mama. For me that is enough, but HE says there is MORE for me and you.

In my strength alone, my superpower is being able to reduce my children to tears with one swoop of my box-cutter tongue, yet HIM in me has called me to be MORE than a mama.

I never thought I would even be a mama. While all the other little girls were dreaming big dreams, all I ever wanted was to be mama of 10 kids when I grew up (still do!).

See, this mama thing is temporary (until my kids are married). This marriage thing is only until death do us part. Of course, I will ALWAYS love my kids and my husband. First and foremost, however, I was Created to Worship Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for eternity. JESUS is my First Love. My most lasting identity is that I was created to Worship The 3 in 1.

I pray one day, I will live my life in such a way that I will reflect this Truth. Holy Spirit, please help us!

For now, what does this look like for me? Most days I do not know if I will have the Strength to get out of bed and face the endless monotony of tasks set before me, let alone the emergencies that have cropped up so regularly. We have weathered having no income for 2 ½ years, no help from disability, health crisis after health crisis, including surgery and pneumonia three times recently.

There have been some intense nights where I was not sure we would all be here the next morning, but in His Mercy, morning has always come. “Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning”. Psalm 30:5 NKJV

Why am I telling you this? I have been in hard places, but The Bible tells us to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today” (Hebrews 3:13)

Regardless of my situation or emotional state at the time, He has called me to serve others and Glorify His Name. HE has had me encourage other mamas in the PICU, in the surgery waiting room, even in the Emergency Room. Every time I have obeyed, I have been blessed beyond ability to understand (or explain!), and the tide has shifted.

When we magnify our situations (no matter how terrible), we forget to magnify The LORD. HE is always bigger. HE is bigger than any situation. HE is never surprised. When I step out for HIM, HE brings the increase. HE multiplies my strength and fills me with His Peace. And somehow I am able to go on.

Think you are having a bad day? Look around. You do not have to look far to see someone near you who is having a worse day. Throughout all this I know our family is blessed to all be alive and together!

Ask The Holy Spirit to show you who you can encourage! Sow seeds of Hope and Strength in a friend or stranger. Tell your husband thank you for working today. HUG your babies no matter how badly they have behaved. Put down your phone, and connect with those around you.

See the woman screaming at her kids in the grocery store? Smile at her. She does not need glares, she knows she should not react this way, but she is so empty. Remember the woman on the field trip with the special needs child who makes your kids nervous? She is more lonely and tired than you.

LOVE them. LOVE them all. LOVE them with such Extravagance that it takes your breath away. One day, when you feel like you cannot breathe, someone will show up to encourage you, bring you flowers or just smile at you. One night a security guard in the ER smiled at me. A simple gesture, but at that moment when I felt I might fall off the face of the earth, it meant everything.

What does the enemy say that you cannot do? Whatever that is, GOD has called you to that and MORE.

What box does the enemy put you in? What limitations have you allowed him to put on you? GOD has called you to MORE than you can ask or imagine. More than carpool or the to do list.

Ask HIM what HE has for you. Who HE created you to be...

You, Mama, were created for greatness. You are more than a conqueror! You were created in His Image, to glorify HIM. You are a praise to his Name. What can you do today to Glorify Him?

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
Psalm 63:3-5 NKJV


12:23 PM ShemaSchool

You, Mama, were made for MORE than this. (No, this is not an advertisement to send you back to the work force, or to that remote island you have been dreaming of.)

Mama, I know you, I have been in the trenches with you. I have heard your groans; I have shared your fears and your complaints. I know the enemy tells you that you cannot do this. This mama thing. I know the enemy wants you to think that the mama thing is too big, too hard, too overwhelming for you... that you are unworthy of carrying this banner day after long day.

Fact is, you were called to MORE than this.

Your life can be such that everyone around you says “who does she think she is?” Not you, but HIM in you. The Power that raised JESUS from the dead lives within you. The Power that raised JESUS from the dead. From the dead. The Encourager. The Holy Spirit. Inside you.

The last 2 and a half years, I have been in a battle that is so fierce I am not always sure I will make it to the end of the day.

Those closest to me have asked me if I doubt GOD. Thankfully, I do not doubt GOD throughout this, (I do not boast in this; I believe HE has supernaturally boosted my faith)... The LORD has dealt with me day after day because I have been doubting myself and my ability to minister to my family. I have literally laid on the floor telling him that I cannot handle this, yet HE says I can. Not me, but HIM through me.

I was writing in my journal the other day, and pondering the Scripture

Ephesians 3:20-21(NIV)

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.


GOD IS more than we can “ask or imagine”. I totally receive that. That is beautiful and pure and true. Then HE spoke to my heart and HE told me that what HE has for me is more than I can “ask or imagine”. HE wants to do through me more than I can “ask or imagine”.

See, all I can imagine is barely being mama. For me that is enough, but HE says there is MORE for me and you.

In my strength alone, my superpower is being able to reduce my children to tears with one swoop of my box-cutter tongue, yet HIM in me has called me to be MORE than a mama.

I never thought I would even be a mama. While all the other little girls were dreaming big dreams, all I ever wanted was to be mama of 10 kids when I grew up (still do!).

See, this mama thing is temporary (until my kids are married). This marriage thing is only until death do us part. Of course, I will ALWAYS love my kids and my husband. First and foremost, however, I was Created to Worship Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for eternity. JESUS is my First Love. My most lasting identity is that I was created to Worship The 3 in 1.

I pray one day, I will live my life in such a way that I will reflect this Truth. Holy Spirit, please help us!

For now, what does this look like for me? Most days I do not know if I will have the Strength to get out of bed and face the endless monotony of tasks set before me, let alone the emergencies that have cropped up so regularly. We have weathered having no income for 2 ½ years, no help from disability, health crisis after health crisis, including surgery and pneumonia three times recently.

There have been some intense nights where I was not sure we would all be here the next morning, but in His Mercy, morning has always come. “Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning”. Psalm 30:5 NKJV

Why am I telling you this? I have been in hard places, but The Bible tells us to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today” (Hebrews 3:13)

Regardless of my situation or emotional state at the time, He has called me to serve others and Glorify His Name. HE has had me encourage other mamas in the PICU, in the surgery waiting room, even in the Emergency Room. Every time I have obeyed, I have been blessed beyond ability to understand (or explain!), and the tide has shifted.

When we magnify our situations (no matter how terrible), we forget to magnify The LORD. HE is always bigger. HE is bigger than any situation. HE is never surprised. When I step out for HIM, HE brings the increase. HE multiplies my strength and fills me with His Peace. And somehow I am able to go on.

Think you are having a bad day? Look around. You do not have to look far to see someone near you who is having a worse day. Throughout all this I know our family is blessed to all be alive and together!

Ask The Holy Spirit to show you who you can encourage! Sow seeds of Hope and Strength in a friend or stranger. Tell your husband thank you for working today. HUG your babies no matter how badly they have behaved. Put down your phone, and connect with those around you.

See the woman screaming at her kids in the grocery store? Smile at her. She does not need glares, she knows she should not react this way, but she is so empty. Remember the woman on the field trip with the special needs child who makes your kids nervous? She is more lonely and tired than you.

LOVE them. LOVE them all. LOVE them with such Extravagance that it takes your breath away. One day, when you feel like you cannot breathe, someone will show up to encourage you, bring you flowers or just smile at you. One night a security guard in the ER smiled at me. A simple gesture, but at that moment when I felt I might fall off the face of the earth, it meant everything.

What does the enemy say that you cannot do? Whatever that is, GOD has called you to that and MORE.

What box does the enemy put you in? What limitations have you allowed him to put on you? GOD has called you to MORE than you can ask or imagine. More than carpool or the to do list.

Ask HIM what HE has for you. Who HE created you to be...

You, Mama, were created for greatness. You are more than a conqueror! You were created in His Image, to glorify HIM. You are a praise to his Name. What can you do today to Glorify Him?

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
Psalm 63:3-5 NKJV


Monday, October 28, 2013


I grew up with made-for-tv movies and series.  Every Sunday night, they would take a book and bring it to life, for all to see.  We were fascinated by Charlotte's Web and Little House on the Prairie, and so many others.

I had the thought the other day that the life of JESUS, The Word Made Flesh was like a made-for-tv movie. HE is The Bible come to Life. Word made flesh. HE is the embodiment of The Bible. His Whole Life is a guide for us. Word Made Flesh for all to see.

If there is something that is preached at church, or some thought you have, look for it in JESUS' Life. HE is our example.  (This is how we take every thought captive.)  HE lived His entire Life without compromise, or rebellion.

Last week I was painfully confronted with my own lack of righteousness. I still have not recovered. The enemy came against me with a wall of condemnation.  I am not the woman (mama! wife!) I long to be. The "movie" my children see me walk out is so often not the one I would have them see. I am in desperate need of a Savior. I am pretty sure this is Good News, but nonetheless I am grieved by my lack of patience. 

JESUS was led by The Holy Spirit when HE was taken to the desert to be tested. That always amazes me. JESUS was led to the wilderness, so HE could be tested, tried, proved. 

In this wilderness of 24 hour a day motherhood, I am being tried and tested and I have come up lacking.

Paul tells us in Philippians 3:17 (NKJV):
Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.

I, Sara, say "Follow me, not as I walk, but as I stumble and fall and throw myself at The Feet of an Awesome Lord Who Saves to the uttermost”. 

Here I remain fleshing out The Word of The Lord, putting my sins (too numerous to count!) under The Blood, receiving unmerited incomprehensible, extravagant Grace from the Father. HE knows me, yet HE loves me.

HE loves you, HE wants to cover all your lack if only you will let Him.  Let us not cower and hide from our sins like Fallen Adam in the Garden. Let us come boldly before The Throne declaring our need of a Savior, and fully taking advantage of The Propitiation that was so lovingly provided.

Lord, I thank You that you sent Your Son to cover me and my sins when I was yet a sinner and had not repented of a single one. Though tempted to run and hide, I boldly declare that I am desperate for The Blood that will wash my mama heart clean.

Mama, won't you pray with me the Prayer my son prays every night for the last 8 years:   

"Lord, I plead Your Blood over my sins, and the sins of my nation. Lord, send revival, end abortion, in JESUS' Name."(International House of Prayer)

Lord, send revival to our hearts, to our husbands' hearts, to our children's hearts. Send revival to our president's heart, to our nation, in JESUS' Name. AMEN and AMEN.

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.” Philippians 3:20-21 (NKJV)

Mercy and Grace,
Sara


1:11 PM ShemaSchool

I grew up with made-for-tv movies and series.  Every Sunday night, they would take a book and bring it to life, for all to see.  We were fascinated by Charlotte's Web and Little House on the Prairie, and so many others.

I had the thought the other day that the life of JESUS, The Word Made Flesh was like a made-for-tv movie. HE is The Bible come to Life. Word made flesh. HE is the embodiment of The Bible. His Whole Life is a guide for us. Word Made Flesh for all to see.

If there is something that is preached at church, or some thought you have, look for it in JESUS' Life. HE is our example.  (This is how we take every thought captive.)  HE lived His entire Life without compromise, or rebellion.

Last week I was painfully confronted with my own lack of righteousness. I still have not recovered. The enemy came against me with a wall of condemnation.  I am not the woman (mama! wife!) I long to be. The "movie" my children see me walk out is so often not the one I would have them see. I am in desperate need of a Savior. I am pretty sure this is Good News, but nonetheless I am grieved by my lack of patience. 

JESUS was led by The Holy Spirit when HE was taken to the desert to be tested. That always amazes me. JESUS was led to the wilderness, so HE could be tested, tried, proved. 

In this wilderness of 24 hour a day motherhood, I am being tried and tested and I have come up lacking.

Paul tells us in Philippians 3:17 (NKJV):
Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.

I, Sara, say "Follow me, not as I walk, but as I stumble and fall and throw myself at The Feet of an Awesome Lord Who Saves to the uttermost”. 

Here I remain fleshing out The Word of The Lord, putting my sins (too numerous to count!) under The Blood, receiving unmerited incomprehensible, extravagant Grace from the Father. HE knows me, yet HE loves me.

HE loves you, HE wants to cover all your lack if only you will let Him.  Let us not cower and hide from our sins like Fallen Adam in the Garden. Let us come boldly before The Throne declaring our need of a Savior, and fully taking advantage of The Propitiation that was so lovingly provided.

Lord, I thank You that you sent Your Son to cover me and my sins when I was yet a sinner and had not repented of a single one. Though tempted to run and hide, I boldly declare that I am desperate for The Blood that will wash my mama heart clean.

Mama, won't you pray with me the Prayer my son prays every night for the last 8 years:   

"Lord, I plead Your Blood over my sins, and the sins of my nation. Lord, send revival, end abortion, in JESUS' Name."(International House of Prayer)

Lord, send revival to our hearts, to our husbands' hearts, to our children's hearts. Send revival to our president's heart, to our nation, in JESUS' Name. AMEN and AMEN.

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.” Philippians 3:20-21 (NKJV)

Mercy and Grace,
Sara


Saturday, November 24, 2012


For a long time, every time I would go to sleep or wake up, I would have the physical sensation that I was hugging something HUGE and HARD , like a water tower: lil ol' me with my arms spread out and my cheek pressed against something cold and white.

I knew this was a choice. What extravagance! The Creator of the Universe was allowing me to choose: did I want His perfect Will for my life, or would I choose something easier? Time and again, every time, I would say “Yes, I wanted all HE had to offer”.

This came right after a period of time when I had come to Peace with my very painful past. I could finally look at pain upon pain that HE had allowed and say to Him “it is well with my soul”. I asked Him to be Lord of not just my Present and my Future, but Lord of my Past. I could finally believe that HE could turn MY ashes into beauty and I gave Him permission to use those experiences for me to minister to other women.

Then I had to choose, would I embrace more pain or the easier road? More anointing? More of His Presence?

As I write this, HE is showing me the words, HUGE and HARD. This is that. What my family has been walking through is THAT. I know this is a promotion, I have known it is a promotion, but I have almost fallen away a few many times.

I am weak and broken. I am a woman who is small in Strength. I have endured more than I imagined I could have. There are many times I thought I could not go on, but HE has sustained me. Not in a pretty, Spiritual way. HE has brought me through in a raw snot-filled, gasping for air, kind of way. But HE has brought me through. HE has sustained my mind through things I did not think I could bear. I know I would be in a padded room without Him.

I know I do not deserve His Grace and Mercy. I know His tenderness is extravagant. I know the pain I have endured is nothing compared to His. Yet HE loves me. HE soothes me. HE is gentle with me. When the whole world walks away, HE is there. HE is HERE. Right HERE, wherever you are, HE has gone ahead and made a way.

Don't YOU know what the LORD has brought you through? (How can we ever know, this side of Heaven?) Selah – pause and reflect. You are here, HE has a purpose for you. What do you need to give to Him? Anything you are holding back?

Yay for a GOD who is LORD of ALL...
8:41 PM ShemaSchool

For a long time, every time I would go to sleep or wake up, I would have the physical sensation that I was hugging something HUGE and HARD , like a water tower: lil ol' me with my arms spread out and my cheek pressed against something cold and white.

I knew this was a choice. What extravagance! The Creator of the Universe was allowing me to choose: did I want His perfect Will for my life, or would I choose something easier? Time and again, every time, I would say “Yes, I wanted all HE had to offer”.

This came right after a period of time when I had come to Peace with my very painful past. I could finally look at pain upon pain that HE had allowed and say to Him “it is well with my soul”. I asked Him to be Lord of not just my Present and my Future, but Lord of my Past. I could finally believe that HE could turn MY ashes into beauty and I gave Him permission to use those experiences for me to minister to other women.

Then I had to choose, would I embrace more pain or the easier road? More anointing? More of His Presence?

As I write this, HE is showing me the words, HUGE and HARD. This is that. What my family has been walking through is THAT. I know this is a promotion, I have known it is a promotion, but I have almost fallen away a few many times.

I am weak and broken. I am a woman who is small in Strength. I have endured more than I imagined I could have. There are many times I thought I could not go on, but HE has sustained me. Not in a pretty, Spiritual way. HE has brought me through in a raw snot-filled, gasping for air, kind of way. But HE has brought me through. HE has sustained my mind through things I did not think I could bear. I know I would be in a padded room without Him.

I know I do not deserve His Grace and Mercy. I know His tenderness is extravagant. I know the pain I have endured is nothing compared to His. Yet HE loves me. HE soothes me. HE is gentle with me. When the whole world walks away, HE is there. HE is HERE. Right HERE, wherever you are, HE has gone ahead and made a way.

Don't YOU know what the LORD has brought you through? (How can we ever know, this side of Heaven?) Selah – pause and reflect. You are here, HE has a purpose for you. What do you need to give to Him? Anything you are holding back?

Yay for a GOD who is LORD of ALL...

I am not sure what the spiritual seasons are... I know I am in a hard one. For a year, we were unable to go to church. Not experiencing corporate worship for a year was terrible. I did not feel the Presence of The Lord in/on my body for a whole year during the 1st part of these 2 years, and THAT was terrible. I would minister and people would be blessed, but I physically felt nothing.
The Lord has taught me to be Thankful for ALL things. I know HE has used this time and this season to GROW me, and for that I am thankful. I am not as easily moved as I was.

I miss the simplicity of when I first fell in love with JESUS. Everything was so new and hopeful. It is still Hopeful, but in a "we will still be okay somehow" kind of way. It is a Faith that is deeper and richer and truer.

FAITH, n. to persuade, to draw towards any thing, to conciliate; to
believe, to obey. (from Webster's 1828)

I am learning so much about Faith. When we first fall in love with Jesus, our Faith is like a new marriage in the natural. They are both all bright and shiny, albeit a little untested.

Then circumstances and life happens, and our Faith gets run over by a bus (sometimes a whole fleet of buses). We have to scrape it off the pavement and shake it off before we pick it up again and embrace it. And then we look at this deeper faith and we realize it is more beautiful than the shiny 1st faith we had before. Unfortunately some people walk away and leave their Faith flat in the middle of the road, when the greatest Blessings come from embracing a deeper, truer Faith. (This is perdition, or falling away: not continuing to follow JESUS.)

JESUS is so much more than we can Ask or Imagine. To walk in the fullness of what HE has for us, we have to be willing to Receive ALL that HE has for us: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

We receive all, we Thank Him for ALL, and then we release ALL back to Him.
This allows His anointing to be unhindered in us. I heard a sermon one time that "the worst thing for the Holy Spirit is for Him to be trapped in an unbelieving believer". Don't we need to believe that ALL things work for Good"? That includes this sickness, that divorce, this pain, that loss...

I receive, I bless, I thank and I release. Again and Again. All day long. All year long. A whole lifetime long. Still, when I am old and shriveled, I release. I exhale.

I bless and let go.
I give and I get.
I love and I set free all those around me.
May The Lord Bless you and yours, today and always,
Sara
8:40 PM ShemaSchool

I am not sure what the spiritual seasons are... I know I am in a hard one. For a year, we were unable to go to church. Not experiencing corporate worship for a year was terrible. I did not feel the Presence of The Lord in/on my body for a whole year during the 1st part of these 2 years, and THAT was terrible. I would minister and people would be blessed, but I physically felt nothing.
The Lord has taught me to be Thankful for ALL things. I know HE has used this time and this season to GROW me, and for that I am thankful. I am not as easily moved as I was.

I miss the simplicity of when I first fell in love with JESUS. Everything was so new and hopeful. It is still Hopeful, but in a "we will still be okay somehow" kind of way. It is a Faith that is deeper and richer and truer.

FAITH, n. to persuade, to draw towards any thing, to conciliate; to
believe, to obey. (from Webster's 1828)

I am learning so much about Faith. When we first fall in love with Jesus, our Faith is like a new marriage in the natural. They are both all bright and shiny, albeit a little untested.

Then circumstances and life happens, and our Faith gets run over by a bus (sometimes a whole fleet of buses). We have to scrape it off the pavement and shake it off before we pick it up again and embrace it. And then we look at this deeper faith and we realize it is more beautiful than the shiny 1st faith we had before. Unfortunately some people walk away and leave their Faith flat in the middle of the road, when the greatest Blessings come from embracing a deeper, truer Faith. (This is perdition, or falling away: not continuing to follow JESUS.)

JESUS is so much more than we can Ask or Imagine. To walk in the fullness of what HE has for us, we have to be willing to Receive ALL that HE has for us: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

We receive all, we Thank Him for ALL, and then we release ALL back to Him.
This allows His anointing to be unhindered in us. I heard a sermon one time that "the worst thing for the Holy Spirit is for Him to be trapped in an unbelieving believer". Don't we need to believe that ALL things work for Good"? That includes this sickness, that divorce, this pain, that loss...

I receive, I bless, I thank and I release. Again and Again. All day long. All year long. A whole lifetime long. Still, when I am old and shriveled, I release. I exhale.

I bless and let go.
I give and I get.
I love and I set free all those around me.
May The Lord Bless you and yours, today and always,
Sara

Sunday, November 11, 2012





My Mama Heart Hurts.
Sadness threatens to engulf me as I am overwhelmed by our circumstances.
We have taken my oldest son to the ER 3 times in the last 2 weeks. And we also found out he has to have surgery for something unrelated to these 3 things, and unrelated to Type 1 diabetes. The same diabetes that ravages his body daily and knocks him down. The same diabetes that tries to steal my sleep and my peace and my joy. The sickness that does not belong here.
We have had no income for a year and a half.
We got an insurance settlement that was spent and then some before we received it.  
Both of our cars only work half the time.
My husband has been physically unable to work for a year and a half.  
The LORD has told me not to say any day is a bad day. And yet, at the end of some days, I wonder was this the worst day of my life?

Yet at the end of the day, week, month, year and a half, we still have each other.
We still have HOPE. We still have JESUS.
We still have a reason to continue on. We are still called to encourage each other as long as it is called Today. (Hebrews 3:13)
Today.
His Mercies are new each day. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
HE gives me Strength for Today.
Darkness comes, and then the new day brings joy. (Psalm 30:5)

HE promises me Refreshment, when I refresh others. (Proverbs 11:25)
Even here.
Even in Broken-ness.
Even in the Broken place.
Especially in this Broken place.
So many days, I have thought I had no more to give.
I have thought that I could not go on without sleep another night. I have thought that we could not pay the bills.
It is not pretty, but we are still here.
We are stronger.
Now it takes a lot more to move us, and even then we can come back to His Heart. Slowly, HE is showing us to let it all go.
Beyond the broken, we find the Secret Place (Psalm 91:1). The Place where the Lord waits to show us how HE can sustain us, no matter the circumstance.
Sometimes I think this is the end, but Life goes on, and tomorrow is a new day.

I am not sure how The Lord will work these circumstances out, but His Word says HE has a good plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11).  My mother-in-law says it is like when there is an emergency and everyone is panicking so, they cannot see the EXIT signs right there. GOD has already made a way, but we cannot see it YET. We have to stop panicking, start trusting Him, and wait for Him to bring forth His Will for our lives. 

HE says HE will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)
HE has not left you.
HE will not leave you.
HE loves you, regardless of how painful it is where you are.
You are not without HOPE.
Our country is not without HOPE.
This place, this whole life is temporary.
The Secret Place lasts forever.
The Ancient of Days is waiting for us to come to Him, and sit at His feet.
Ask Him for living water, HE offers us drink when we are weary.

Be relentless, search out HOPE in your circumstance, even if it is only a cloud the size of a man's hand!

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning—Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord;For with the Lord there is mercy, And with Him is abundant redemption."  -Psalm 130:5-7 (NKJV)

LORD, fill us with Your Glory, fill us with your Strength to face whatever circumstances You have chosen to give us. Give us Grace to Hold on to You alone and to release everything to You: the good, the bad and the ugly.  Bind our hearts and our hurts. In JESUS' Name, AMEN. 

In His Mighty Sustaining Power I remain,
Sara


"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind, is anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27)
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photo from http://office.microsoft.com
11:00 AM ShemaSchool




My Mama Heart Hurts.
Sadness threatens to engulf me as I am overwhelmed by our circumstances.
We have taken my oldest son to the ER 3 times in the last 2 weeks. And we also found out he has to have surgery for something unrelated to these 3 things, and unrelated to Type 1 diabetes. The same diabetes that ravages his body daily and knocks him down. The same diabetes that tries to steal my sleep and my peace and my joy. The sickness that does not belong here.
We have had no income for a year and a half.
We got an insurance settlement that was spent and then some before we received it.  
Both of our cars only work half the time.
My husband has been physically unable to work for a year and a half.  
The LORD has told me not to say any day is a bad day. And yet, at the end of some days, I wonder was this the worst day of my life?

Yet at the end of the day, week, month, year and a half, we still have each other.
We still have HOPE. We still have JESUS.
We still have a reason to continue on. We are still called to encourage each other as long as it is called Today. (Hebrews 3:13)
Today.
His Mercies are new each day. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
HE gives me Strength for Today.
Darkness comes, and then the new day brings joy. (Psalm 30:5)

HE promises me Refreshment, when I refresh others. (Proverbs 11:25)
Even here.
Even in Broken-ness.
Even in the Broken place.
Especially in this Broken place.
So many days, I have thought I had no more to give.
I have thought that I could not go on without sleep another night. I have thought that we could not pay the bills.
It is not pretty, but we are still here.
We are stronger.
Now it takes a lot more to move us, and even then we can come back to His Heart. Slowly, HE is showing us to let it all go.
Beyond the broken, we find the Secret Place (Psalm 91:1). The Place where the Lord waits to show us how HE can sustain us, no matter the circumstance.
Sometimes I think this is the end, but Life goes on, and tomorrow is a new day.

I am not sure how The Lord will work these circumstances out, but His Word says HE has a good plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11).  My mother-in-law says it is like when there is an emergency and everyone is panicking so, they cannot see the EXIT signs right there. GOD has already made a way, but we cannot see it YET. We have to stop panicking, start trusting Him, and wait for Him to bring forth His Will for our lives. 

HE says HE will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)
HE has not left you.
HE will not leave you.
HE loves you, regardless of how painful it is where you are.
You are not without HOPE.
Our country is not without HOPE.
This place, this whole life is temporary.
The Secret Place lasts forever.
The Ancient of Days is waiting for us to come to Him, and sit at His feet.
Ask Him for living water, HE offers us drink when we are weary.

Be relentless, search out HOPE in your circumstance, even if it is only a cloud the size of a man's hand!

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning—Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord;For with the Lord there is mercy, And with Him is abundant redemption."  -Psalm 130:5-7 (NKJV)

LORD, fill us with Your Glory, fill us with your Strength to face whatever circumstances You have chosen to give us. Give us Grace to Hold on to You alone and to release everything to You: the good, the bad and the ugly.  Bind our hearts and our hurts. In JESUS' Name, AMEN. 

In His Mighty Sustaining Power I remain,
Sara


"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind, is anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27)
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photo from http://office.microsoft.com

Sunday, October 14, 2012



I flow in the gift of HUGS.

I did not even know this was a gift. I was at a Woman of Faith Conference with my YahYahs (10 friends)... It was the first time I ever tangibly felt the Holy Spirit. HE felt like a mist, and the whole place was filled with His Peace. I also think it is when I got saved. Mind you, I went to church my whole life, and had been going to Bible study, but it is the first time I really felt like I laid it all down at His feet and surrendered my life to Him...

There was this incredible woman ministering there named Thelma Wells. She reminded me of the nanny that raised me. I knew during the break that I was supposed to get her to hug me. I went and stood in line behind everyone who wanted her autograph and pictures with her, and I humbly asked her if she would hug me. She held me for a long time. I did not feel anything particularly, but shortly after that is when GOD started telling me to hug people.

At first it was VERY uncomfortable to me to offer to give someone a hug. I was rejected more often than not. For a while I mostly hugged people in church, not so much in the marketplace. For a while, GOD would tell me hug to people who I did not like, did not want to talk to, much less hug. HE was teaching me that my opinions about others did not matter. HE loves us all, and HE was setting me free from my prideful opinions and selfish emotions. Regardless of how I felt, HE wanted to hug these people; I was to be His hands and arms.

If the person is open to receiving, then The Anointing shows up and usually what I release is multiplied and we are both blessed and filled with His PEACE. Sometimes the person cries, sometimes they laugh, sometimes they are comforted, sometimes we get stuck together for the rest of the service... One time this Asian woman and I hugged and my heart started to break, it hurt so terribly... Sometimes I feel like we are being swooshed up and away to Heaven... In contrast, when the other person does not receive, nothing happens, it is just an ordinary hug.

Along with this hug anointing, I have a MAMA Anointing. GOD will fill me with a mother's love for someone even almost my age (a couple times the person has been older than me)... I will be so moved with compassion for the person that is before me, it is as if they are my own child and I have known them their whole life.

When I flow in these gifts, I do not receive prophetic words per se. I know the Father's love for them, but generally I do not hear or see anything specific for them. This used to bother me because those around me hear and see so much and I felt like my gift was small in comparison. GOD has brought me to a place of more maturity to accept and appreciate what HE has given me, and to NOT compare my gifts to others' gifts. Each expression should be different as each of us is a different facet of His Creative masterpiece.

I am not sure if everyone can give hugs, maybe they can? About 2 years after GOD started having me hug people, I found out about Shampa Rice, “a little lady from the kitchen” who also gives hugs. Her expression of Hugs is different from mine, as well it should be. One time she was introduced, saying, “Do not ask her to pray for you, her Hug is her prayer”. We do not always need to try to fill the space with words, sometimes I have no words to release, only a hug...

I am still blessed by this daily as I go about the dailiness of my life. How GOD uses my gift for The Body and for those who do not yet know Him. When they feel PEACE, they ask “What is that?” and I answer “that is JESUS, HE loves you. HE has never left you nor forsaken you. HE is waiting for you and HE wants to Bless you”...

This gift HE has given me is so subtle and hidden. It is so easily overlooked or pushed aside. Like so many precious things with JESUS, we have to be open and willing to seek His Treasure.

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
1 Corinthians 1:27-29

What wonderful or even amazingly simple gifts do you flow in?  If you do not know for sure, ask The LORD to reveal them to you...  I Know you have Treasure hidden inside!!

{{{HUGS}}}

Sara

Photo credit 
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg180/rhondarenfro/JesusHug2.jpg

8:19 PM ShemaSchool


I flow in the gift of HUGS.

I did not even know this was a gift. I was at a Woman of Faith Conference with my YahYahs (10 friends)... It was the first time I ever tangibly felt the Holy Spirit. HE felt like a mist, and the whole place was filled with His Peace. I also think it is when I got saved. Mind you, I went to church my whole life, and had been going to Bible study, but it is the first time I really felt like I laid it all down at His feet and surrendered my life to Him...

There was this incredible woman ministering there named Thelma Wells. She reminded me of the nanny that raised me. I knew during the break that I was supposed to get her to hug me. I went and stood in line behind everyone who wanted her autograph and pictures with her, and I humbly asked her if she would hug me. She held me for a long time. I did not feel anything particularly, but shortly after that is when GOD started telling me to hug people.

At first it was VERY uncomfortable to me to offer to give someone a hug. I was rejected more often than not. For a while I mostly hugged people in church, not so much in the marketplace. For a while, GOD would tell me hug to people who I did not like, did not want to talk to, much less hug. HE was teaching me that my opinions about others did not matter. HE loves us all, and HE was setting me free from my prideful opinions and selfish emotions. Regardless of how I felt, HE wanted to hug these people; I was to be His hands and arms.

If the person is open to receiving, then The Anointing shows up and usually what I release is multiplied and we are both blessed and filled with His PEACE. Sometimes the person cries, sometimes they laugh, sometimes they are comforted, sometimes we get stuck together for the rest of the service... One time this Asian woman and I hugged and my heart started to break, it hurt so terribly... Sometimes I feel like we are being swooshed up and away to Heaven... In contrast, when the other person does not receive, nothing happens, it is just an ordinary hug.

Along with this hug anointing, I have a MAMA Anointing. GOD will fill me with a mother's love for someone even almost my age (a couple times the person has been older than me)... I will be so moved with compassion for the person that is before me, it is as if they are my own child and I have known them their whole life.

When I flow in these gifts, I do not receive prophetic words per se. I know the Father's love for them, but generally I do not hear or see anything specific for them. This used to bother me because those around me hear and see so much and I felt like my gift was small in comparison. GOD has brought me to a place of more maturity to accept and appreciate what HE has given me, and to NOT compare my gifts to others' gifts. Each expression should be different as each of us is a different facet of His Creative masterpiece.

I am not sure if everyone can give hugs, maybe they can? About 2 years after GOD started having me hug people, I found out about Shampa Rice, “a little lady from the kitchen” who also gives hugs. Her expression of Hugs is different from mine, as well it should be. One time she was introduced, saying, “Do not ask her to pray for you, her Hug is her prayer”. We do not always need to try to fill the space with words, sometimes I have no words to release, only a hug...

I am still blessed by this daily as I go about the dailiness of my life. How GOD uses my gift for The Body and for those who do not yet know Him. When they feel PEACE, they ask “What is that?” and I answer “that is JESUS, HE loves you. HE has never left you nor forsaken you. HE is waiting for you and HE wants to Bless you”...

This gift HE has given me is so subtle and hidden. It is so easily overlooked or pushed aside. Like so many precious things with JESUS, we have to be open and willing to seek His Treasure.

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
1 Corinthians 1:27-29

What wonderful or even amazingly simple gifts do you flow in?  If you do not know for sure, ask The LORD to reveal them to you...  I Know you have Treasure hidden inside!!

{{{HUGS}}}

Sara

Photo credit 
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg180/rhondarenfro/JesusHug2.jpg