What
has challenged me the most in my Christian faith, is my marriage.
How to keep my mouth shut. How to honor my husband when he does not
act honorably. How to take his lead when I know he is wrong, but he
will not listen. How to not point it out later when he realizes. How
to not talk to him with condemnation when he makes the same mistake,
repeatedly. How LOVE covers all faults, forgives ALL, forgets, and
does not keep account. How to disengage when women around me are
complaining about their husbands, and I could jump in, but I
don't/won't anymore. How to respect him when he is not acting
respectfully. How to hold my tongue in front of the children. How to
not allow our children to speak of him dishonorably. How to forgive
him when he hurts their tender hearts. How to put my full attention
on him when I have a million things to do. How to speak gently and
lovingly instead of snarling. How to let him decide where we should
go when I want to go somewhere else. How to release my husband to The
Lord. How to not try to fix everything he does/says wrong.
How
to speak LIFE and not death, to bless and not curse... To do him GOOD
all the days of his life. To remember we are one team, not enemies.
To not resent his masculinity, but to nurture and hold up and protect
that manliness. To raise his sons to be proud of their man-ness in a
culture that bashes men.
I
fail so miserably. Daily. Repeatedly.
I
cry out to The Lord and hold my tongue forcibly. Other times, I spew
forth terrible, hurtful words. I rush to apologize, like David rushed
toward his Giant.
I
fail and I cry and I ask forgiveness from him and My Creator. And I
fail some more.
Then
there are strong, Peaceful, Beautiful days where I think we have
arrived. We have a great marriage. The Lord is our Center. There is
nothing we can not do.
I
learn to SUBMIT to an Awesome GOD by submitting to a broken man. I
set myself to yield my will to The Holy Spirit's Will as HE leads me
to serve my husband.
Oh
Lord, please break my heart to this. Change me. Help me to resist the
enemy, and not my husband! As wives, help us to encourage each other
to yield to our husbands (and to You!) without murmuring or
complaining. AMEN and AMEN.
What
has challenged your faith?
Sara
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